Shame at what's weighing you down breeds an almost frenzied desire to isolate. Mustn’t be discovered by everyone else, by anyone else–no one will understand what you’re going through; shame convinces you that you are the only person who has “failed” in this way, fallen down or been dragged down by someone else. Isolation, in turn, feeds fully off the stories you continue telling yourself as the shame piles higher and higher, burying you under its massive, crushing layers.
-
-
What do you miss when _________ masks _________?
One more piece of back story: I am not a joiner. Of anything. I can't say why exactly, but I've always been that way. Actually, that's a lie. I can say why: it's rooted in absolute insecurity. If I join and fail, how will I be perceived? If I join and don't belong, what will I do? If I join and do belong, am I not all that special after all?
-
Wrap up 2023 like a clock
Taking stock of a year is no easy feat. Twelve months, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes...sounds like a lot, doesn't it? Shouldn't we easily be able to accomplish all we need and want to in all those minutes, hours, days and months? Turns out, often not so much.
-
You’re being audited (and that’s a very good thing!)
I was primed to do this work from a lifetime of dreaming about, practicing and doing various tasks and jobs that I thought were for other reasons so that in this moment, I was ready to step into this opportunity and say, "YES."
-
What’s in your rear view mirror?
Last year, I joined a paid online group called Oprah Daily. It was low priced and included a number of things I was interested in. I read many of the emails I got throughout the year and enjoyed the quarterly magazines. But when I got the notice to renew, I was in a pretty serious slump about the stalled building of my Spark Empire. I considered letting the subscription go. As with nearly everything related to my professional life over the summer, my first thought was, “What has this subscription done for me this year anyway? I’m no better off for having said yes to it.” But for some reason,…
-
When networking feels transactional, what’s next?
I’ve been doing a tremendous amount of networking since leaving my previous job in the spring and going full time as the Founder & CEO of Dayna Del Val. Many of the conversations have been fantastic, but the worst ones, the ones that made me want to give up entirely, are the ones that are purely transactional. Let me “re-enact” one of those openings for you: New Person: “Hi. I’m Bill. What can I do for you? Who in my network do you want to meet?” DDV: “Ummmm, I’m not sure yet.” New Person: “Well, I have a very robust network, so you look through it and let me know…
-
Eat. Drink. Spark! and the (re)Discover Your Spark retreat is coming to Hopkins, MN in October!
Calling everyone in the Twin Cities area to an #extraordinary Eat. Drink. Spark! dinner + 1-day Discover Your Spark retreat coming OCTOBER 20 AND 21. When I met Kathleen Crandall earlier this summer, I knew I was going to like her, but then she suggested we work together with our programs and offered to host a 2-part, three-ways-to-engage opportunity, and I’m so excited! I can’t wait to see you there! OPTION ONE: Eat. Drink. Spark! FRIDAY DINNER What: The Eat. Drink. Spark! Dinner experience includes the beginning of Discover Your Spark work, a sumptuous 3-course meal prepared by a chef from Minneapolis-based chef Jo Seddon’s team, complemented by three exclusive Spark cocktails or NA cocktails, if…
-
How big is your glass?
The point is, the great majority of us are doing the best we can in the time of life we're in. Could I be doing more to be intentional and manifesting and letting go? Could I be stretching more? Could I stop eating mindless treats at 2:30 every afternoon? Probably.
-
Discover Your Couple’s SOBER Spark experience (virtual)
Dr Marry and I are fresh from coming off a very successful Eat. Drink. Spark! Couple’s experience. It went so well that we’re launching our next Discover Your Couple’s SOBER Spark virtual event. Find everything you need to know here and then sign up to join us for a fun, informative and informal date night on Saturday, October 7 from 7-9pm CDT. October might feel like it’s a long way off, but we all know how fast the fall goes once it gets back into the swing of it. This experience is a fabulous night of connecting with yourself, your partner and with other couples where one or both are…
-
Moving fast to slow down
I grew up with a mother who valued speed and quickness above almost all else. We needed to move quickly, as in, “I’m in the car—get out here NOW!” We needed to quickly catch a clever story. And it was expected that we be clever, speedy deliverers ourselves. We needed to not get caught up in too many details. My mother (and I often) almost loses her mind to watch my son, who feels little to none of this urgency, butter his toast. He literally covers the entire surface in a measured, level way regardless the time it takes. My mother slaps butter on in a kind of haphazard fashion…
