Your Pain Point:
You’re trying something new, dipping your toes into something challenging, standing up and making a point that can be criticized by others, asking someone you care about to stop talking about politics, religion, creepy sex stories, xenophobia, how stupid their boss is, _____________________.
You’re taking a risk of some kind for you. Maybe it’s scary, and it might be going both well and not so well.
So what do you make of that? And what’s your next move?
My Pain Point:
The social media love and hate continued this week.
- Views doubled, tripled and more = WAHOO
- Positive comments up = DELIGHTFUL
- Haters and Bots finding my content and feeling compelled to respond = WHATEV, TREV
- Overall engagement way up = EXTRAORDINARY
For much of my life, I’ve longed to be in a position to honestly say, “I don’t read reviews.”
Because, of course, what that would mean is that A) Someone (anyone) was commenting on something (anything) I was doing, and B) There were so many, and some of them so vile, that rather than sift through and engage with the positive ones, I just skip them all.
Well, I seem to be having a bit of an extended moment lately, so this longing is being put to the test.
There have been lovely comments from many—thank you for that, and I’m sorry if I missed yours because it got lost in the hate-spewed ones! But there have also been some just ridiculous, mean-spirited, angry, uneducated, “basket of deplorables” comments, too.
For a moment, my feelings were hurt. I mean, who are all these haters, and why in the world are they hating on my little Spark Moments reels?
The Ah-Ha Moment
And then it dawned on me. Ultimately, who cares?
Do I really care what absolute strangers think they know about me based on a number of 90-second reels?
Do you really care what colleagues, friends, even your family, thinks if you decide to try something new? Stand up for something that matters to you? Step outside of your normal, and comfortable for everyone else, box?
If you’re thinking, “Easy for you to say this, Dayna; your haters are strangers. This is my parents, my best friends, my boss I’m talking about!”
Ask yourself this: Do they seem bothered by expressing themselves, being “risky” with their opinions and actions, possibly offending you?
The rationale, as expertly summed up by Tay Tay herself, is that the “haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate…”
Now, I’m not advocating for going in to Thanksgiving, verbal guns blazing, ready to mow down everyone who expresses something you disagree with.
But what I am suggesting is that you get brave, take a breath and express your own opinion in the midst of a conversation where seemingly everyone else is touting how awesome this or that is, or how ill-informed someone else is or how violence, hatred or a complete dismantling of a long-held system is the best and only way to move forward.
Where there is the assumption that “everyone thinks like I think” showing up, if you disagree, are you willing to make your voice heard, too? Are you ready to take on some hate for doing or saying what you believe is correct? Will you speak and act on behalf of those whose voices have been truly silenced? Can you suggest a different plan of action that might be gentler, more bringing together than tearing apart?
Will it be easy?
Nope.
Nothing that matters ever is.
Ask Nelson Mandela, Emmeline Pankhurst, Dr Martin Luther King, Jr, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther, Gloria Steinem, Alexey Navalny, Greta Thunberg, the Dalai Lama, Dorothy Day, Jesus Christ…
Each of them has taken steps far beyond anything I’ve ever considered; they’ve put themselves in harm’s way to advocate for what they truly believe is the right thing. Each of these people has sacrificed an enormous amount, in some cases their very lives, to be brave.
I’m not asking you or me to go that far.
As of this moment, I’m not willing to actively put my life on the line to speak out against the returning administration.
But I’m also not willing to be silent against the divisiveness it is already ushering in across this country.
And I’m especially not willing to be silenced by others who think that by tossing off a few insults to my intellect, my gender, my body, they’ll shut me up.
Instead, I’ll shake it off, shake it off.
Will you?
A side note: as of this writing, more than 15 colleges and universities across America offer courses centered around Taylor Swift and her lyrics or her impact and influence around gender, communications, ethics, philosophy, economics, cultural studies, media, entrepreneurship… Unless you find higher education to be part of the problem, this should tell you a couple of things: A) Higher Ed is chasing the social media frenzy that is Ms Swift and her Swifties as hard as anyone else, and B) While these lyrics aren’t particularly erudite, the sentiment is definitively true. Studying the cultural phenomenon that is the global brand called Taylor Swift has actual intellectual merit, and in this case, it’s a mandate I’m happy to adopt.
