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Lifting the rocks off my chest
Despite the fact that Heart was wailing out "How Do I Get You Alone?" to the lunch crowd and servers were chatting loudly right outside the door while entering with tabs and returned credit cards, the audience was rapt. This small group of mostly men, who initially felt to me like they were not necessarily going to find this talk valuable, stayed with me for 26 minutes.
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What’s weighing you down?
Farmers, then and now, have an interesting and repetitive spring task: they pick rocks. Every year, regardless the number of years a field has been worked, farmers must pick the rocks that have risen to the surface over the winter.
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Digging my own hole to fall down into to rise up
But here's the thing: I know that if I did the hard work of tracing that scribble labyrinth, I would actually arrive at the straight line going forward because I never lifted the pen when I was making it. That means there is some logic and connectivity to that mess, no matter how convoluted it appears from here.
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I double dog dare you…
And I had that awful, slow dawning of understanding that I have been holding on to this for the entirety of my life because it has "served" me to cast myself as a victim. When I use an oft-repeated phrase that I heard growing up as the reason why I can't do this or that; when I allow it to hamper the deep intimacy I have ever had with any man, including my husband; when I give it more credibility than my intellect, my accomplishments, my spirit, heart and dreams, then whatever failures I have had or might have if I take too big a leap can be passed off…
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I know my calling: Reflecting on the book Limitless
Think about the name of Ms GO's book. Limitless. Without limits. Too often, we put limits even on our free writing, brainstorming and dreaming, as if what we articulate will be seen and judged by others, seen and judged by ourselves. You are allowed to dream as big and wild as you want. In fact, I not only encourage it, I demand (in as much as I can demand you, the unknown reader) you to go all out. The only thing you will "waste" is some ink and paper.
