Beyond the devastation (and our late in the year diagnosis), COVID was a gift for Dr Marry and me. I closed down my offices in March and have been working from home ever since. That means Dr Marry and I had all spring and summer and much of the fall together since his job was also a hybrid of in-person and virtual teaching. We walked and biked more than we ever have. I baked copious amounts of bread and went back to my pre-full time job delight of searching for and trying fun new recipes.
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Memories tell a story
Merry Christmas! I was scrolling through my Facebook memories earlier today and came across this photo. Taken December 24, 2016, this is five weeks before Dr Marry’s nosebleed led him down the path to near death and back to life again. There are so many complex layers to this photo–layers I can only see now with the blessing of hindsight. Look at Dr Marry’s face and hand on my shoulder. I often say he was like a waterbed in those final years of his active addiction. He was puffy and generally appeared to have too much fluid jostling around inside his skin. After Dr Marry got sober, we had to…
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The best part of waking up…
While these commercials used to evoke my intense longing to be the little sister, today, they speak to my role as mom. I've been playing my mashed up version of these commercials over and over in my head because my beloved boy won't be coming home for Christmas this year.
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Moving through the dark
But the long, languid days of summer aren't where we are in the calendar. Instead, we're one day away from the shortest, darkest day of the year. And I'm up early, in the cold, pale light of the moon, wondering what I can take from this time. How can I reframe this season to be a lesson versus an obstacle, not just for myself but for anyone reading this?
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Gratitude goes a long way
I woke up trapped between wondering why I'm spending such an inordinate amount of time on these "side gigs" that don't seem to be getting me anywhere and hoping against hope that the Universe is busy paying attention to someone (anyone!) else and misses my doubts and despair so that I don't get smited (smote?) for questioning its pace or interest in my dream. Ugh!
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It’s a new year disruption, and you’re invited!
I'm thrilled to announce that I'm partnering with Ladyboss Midwest to host two Personal Systems Disruption virtual weekend retreats in January. Jan 1-3 and Jan 15-17 In addition to the powerful 6-part series, we'll add a "New Year, New You" theme (don't we all need to shake 2020 right off our heels?) as well as including Ladyboss swag in the pre-retreat welcome package and other content from them throughout the retreat.
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Daily Dose celebrates 100 episodes!
Starting today, we're moving Daily Dose to its own Facebook page. It's time for it to have a new life of its own, separated from my work with extraordinary. We hope you'll tune in, like the page and start sharing it with your network. At its core, Daily Dose is about exploring the things that are holding us back and finding ways to move forward into our best, most joyful life.
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What are we called to do?
I watched Kamala Harris speak, and I had to remind myself over and over again that I was listening to the first woman-elect Vice President; the first woman of African and South Asian descent; the first woman of Immigrant parents; the first woman. And I realized that what was missing for me, what these four years has crushed, was my pride and joy in seeing this incredible moment in history. My optimism has been stolen over and over again by the reality of who so many of my fellow Americans apparently really are at their core.
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Two ears outweigh one mouth
In this moment, I understood this conversation was a perfect example of the power imbalance that exists between professors and students. I could have easily dismissed his points, talked over him and instructed him to correct the error of his ways. After all, aren't I the "expert"? Aren't I the experienced and wise professor? Isn't it my job, my purview, my obligation to enlighten this young man?
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Winning the game
But it's hard to play defense against a player you've never encountered. Turns out that the x I was trying so desperately to solve in the equation was something utterly out of my control: another person and his secrets. I grew up in a household where one person managed and controlled all the money, and that one person was not even the one making the money. Some stuff becomes hardwired in your brain, even if you know it's not absolutely correct. This was one of those things.
