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  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    It’s my five year -versary, too

    February 1, 2022 / 4 Comments

    If he had died, so many of my "problems" would have been solved. I would have gotten his life insurance policy, which would have taken care of the financial insecurity we constantly faced. I would have been cast as the poor, young widow whose husband had gone too soon. People who'd lived with alcoholism somewhere in their lives would have passed knowing glances at whatever reason given for his death because I certainly didn't know that that was what we were dealing with. He'd always been kind of "sickly," so I guess the rest of us would have chalked it up to a poor constitution, as if we didn't have…

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    Dayna Del Val

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  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    We’re day drinking all week long, and then this popped up. What a difference five years can make.

    December 23, 2021 / 1 Comment

    If alcohol is ruining your life or the life of someone you love, I implore you to get real about it and find help to overcome it. I promise you there is an abundance on the other side of drinking to excess. There can still be trips to fancy bars and fun holiday drinks to order. But there's also human connection, real engagement and a healthy, joyful life.

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    Dayna Del Val

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    The ever tipping scales of balance

    September 11, 2020

    Two Voices of Hope: Counting Our Blessings, an Epilogue (9a)

    March 28, 2020

    Lead from the Outside, ruffled feathers and the attempted sound of silence

    January 16, 2021
  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    A ripple effect of being married to an alcoholic enjoying sobriety

    August 25, 2021 / 0 Comments

    I can see in retrospect, and with so much more knowledge about Mazz in particular and alcoholism in general, that I was making my own sets of excuses. I was desperate not to believe what this person was saying about Mazz. In re-reading these exchanges, which I haven't looked at it in nearly 10 years, my stomach is tight, my anxiety is ratcheting up and I am immediately back in the swirl of knowing something is desperately wrong but not being able to articulate it. I don't know this because I haven't spent enough time with spouses of addicts or those in recovery to prove this theory out, but I…

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    Dayna Del Val

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    The day before my world turned upside down

    September 10, 2020

    Stepping out of the shadows: a (re)birthday reflection

    February 16, 2021

    Now I gotta cut loose, footloose…

    July 10, 2021
  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Writing Retreat Reflections

    Disrupting the money conversation

    September 12, 2020 / 2 Comments

    Pre-2017, we didn't have money conversations. We had money arguments. From his side, I was nagging, questioning, accusing; from mine, he was obfuscating, lying, paying no attention. We never, and I do mean never, had a "good" conversation around money.

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    Dayna Del Val

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    Now I gotta cut loose, footloose…

    July 10, 2021

    Two Voices of Hope: So, What Happened? (4c podcast)

    February 27, 2020

    I started a podcast!

    November 11, 2019
  • Personal Writing,  Writing Retreat Reflections

    How do you get from here to there?

    September 6, 2020 / 2 Comments

    But I had a lightening bolt moment yesterday on my walk. I realized, or it hit me on the head walking past the soybeans on my left and the field filled with big puddles of water on my right, that I want to actually be a "personal systems disrupter." I want to inspire and motivate people to disrupt their personal systems to find what's beyond their current reality.

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    Dayna Del Val

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    Putting our money where our mouths are

    October 8, 2020

    I double dog dare you…

    March 27, 2021

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    September 13, 2020
  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    Mirroring our reality

    August 13, 2020 / 0 Comments

    We didn't just talk about addiction, of course, because these men, and the other woman and I are more than the product of this disease, which steals from every person with whom it comes in contact. But it was so easy to ask questions, to recall a similar experience, to look at this couple, who in many ways are a mirror of us, and see where we had been, where we are and what damage still lingers. Because believe me, no matter how much better it is, no matter how fabulous it is, in fact, there is lingering damage. Scars heal over time, stop being red and raw, but never…

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    Dayna Del Val

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    Two Voices of Hope: Our Beginning, From My Side (2a)

    February 8, 2020

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    December 5, 2020

    Looks can be deceiving

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  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    Daily Dose of Dr Marry & DD week 3 recap

    August 1, 2020 / 2 Comments

    Thanks for joining us on this journey--remember to share these with anyone you think might find value. We believe they aren't just useful to addicts and spouses/partners of addicts, but to people going through life. We all have to live with vulnerability, manage complex emotions, reflect on our own role and take responsibility for it and everything else.

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    I’m stretchy-chasey, how about you?

    September 15, 2020

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    March 19, 2020

    Daily Dose is one, and there’s so much to celebrate!

    July 17, 2021
  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    Daily Dose of Dr Marry and DD week 2 recap

    July 25, 2020 / 0 Comments

    Welcome to week 2 of Daily Dose of Dr Marry and DD. If you're struggling with addiction or are partnered to an addict, you'll find useful nuggets in one or many of this week's episodes. If you're just a "run of the mill" person with no addiction in your life, first, count your lucky stars, and second, you'll find ideas to consider in your own life as well.

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    Dayna Del Val

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    May 14, 2021

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    Daily Dose of Dr Marry & DD week 3 recap

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  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    Daily Dose of Dr Marry and DD week 1 recap

    July 18, 2020 / 2 Comments

    So every weekday morning at 8:30am, Dr Marry and I will go live with a "Daily Dose of Dr Marry and DD" on my public Facebook page for no more than 15 minutes all around one focused idea. They are a quick, mindful way to start your day with tips, ways to reframe your thinking or an important idea to consider.

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    Dayna Del Val

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    Two Voices of Hope: Up and Down (5b video)

    March 3, 2020

    Keep your keys close

    July 5, 2020

    An added bonus amidst the stress

    April 28, 2020
  • Dr. Marry and Me,  Personal Writing

    Keep your keys close

    July 5, 2020 / 5 Comments

    But in the midst of all of those "problems" or "failures" is a simple story about Dr Marry and his keys. A story he told me sometime in early May that has stuck with me, like so much of what he has casually said in these three+ years since he got sober.

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    Dayna Del Val

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    Some things I am grateful for

    April 22, 2020

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    Lucky 13

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