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Stepping out of the shadows: a (re)birthday reflection
Yes, I loved celebrating Dr Marry's 48th birthday with this joyful post and a fun party. But I love today a million times more because we no longer live in secrets. We feel no shame. We have overcome something that, incredibly, isn't even really the tiniest bit unique.
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Winning the game
But it's hard to play defense against a player you've never encountered. Turns out that the x I was trying so desperately to solve in the equation was something utterly out of my control: another person and his secrets. I grew up in a household where one person managed and controlled all the money, and that one person was not even the one making the money. Some stuff becomes hardwired in your brain, even if you know it's not absolutely correct. This was one of those things.
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Disrupting the money conversation
Pre-2017, we didn't have money conversations. We had money arguments. From his side, I was nagging, questioning, accusing; from mine, he was obfuscating, lying, paying no attention. We never, and I do mean never, had a "good" conversation around money.
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Mirroring our reality
We didn't just talk about addiction, of course, because these men, and the other woman and I are more than the product of this disease, which steals from every person with whom it comes in contact. But it was so easy to ask questions, to recall a similar experience, to look at this couple, who in many ways are a mirror of us, and see where we had been, where we are and what damage still lingers. Because believe me, no matter how much better it is, no matter how fabulous it is, in fact, there is lingering damage. Scars heal over time, stop being red and raw, but never…
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Daily Dose of Dr Marry & DD week 3 recap
Thanks for joining us on this journey--remember to share these with anyone you think might find value. We believe they aren't just useful to addicts and spouses/partners of addicts, but to people going through life. We all have to live with vulnerability, manage complex emotions, reflect on our own role and take responsibility for it and everything else.
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Daily Dose of Dr Marry and DD week 2 recap
Welcome to week 2 of Daily Dose of Dr Marry and DD. If you're struggling with addiction or are partnered to an addict, you'll find useful nuggets in one or many of this week's episodes. If you're just a "run of the mill" person with no addiction in your life, first, count your lucky stars, and second, you'll find ideas to consider in your own life as well.
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Daily Dose of Dr Marry and DD week 1 recap
So every weekday morning at 8:30am, Dr Marry and I will go live with a "Daily Dose of Dr Marry and DD" on my public Facebook page for no more than 15 minutes all around one focused idea. They are a quick, mindful way to start your day with tips, ways to reframe your thinking or an important idea to consider.
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Keep your keys close
But in the midst of all of those "problems" or "failures" is a simple story about Dr Marry and his keys. A story he told me sometime in early May that has stuck with me, like so much of what he has casually said in these three+ years since he got sober.
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Committed to it all
So today I sit in my sunroom, overlooking the yard where we happily celebrated making this commitment to each other 12 years ago, and think, as I often have done in these past three years, what if I hadn't held on?
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Two Voices of Hope: Counting Our Blessings, an Epilogue (9c podcast)
In this, our final podcast and post of this journey, we wrap up this nine-week multi-media experience about Dr Marry’s fall into alcoholism and our shared path back to sobriety. But mostly, this podcast is about gratitude. Gratitude for the doctors, nurses and staff of Sanford; the insurance worker at Sanford who eased my mind and the woman on the phone from MN Blue Cross and Blue Shield. The Prairie St John’s staff and residents. Former students, friends and strangers who wrote to lift us up, to share their own journey, to say thank you. Grateful for the friends and colleagues who helped us conceive of this format. Grateful to…
